Friday, April 18, 2008

Want to snag a man? Then shut up.

With the possible exception of impressionable young children, most everyone knows that Disney's The Little Mermaid is pretty messed up (give up your voice for a man, literally! woohoo!). My friend Katelyn and I seem to spend most of our time together alternating between angrily discussing this fact and breaking into passionate renditions of "Part Of Your World" (What can I say? Old habits die hard).

In an attempt to branch out at our coffee date today, we were trying to remember the words to Ursula's classic aria, "Poor, Unfortunate Souls". We failed miserably, so I looked up the lyrics online when I got home, and GOOD GOD if you haven't re-watched the movie as an adult, you've gotta read this:

[Ursula:] I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a
trifle. What I want from you is . . . your voice.
[Ariel:] But without my voice, how can I -
[Ursula:] You'll have your looks! Your pretty face! And don't
underestimate the importance of body language! Ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

Kind of makes you wonder why the Ariel dress from the Disney Princess bridal collection doesn't come with a jewel-encrusted gag, huh?

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